


Watching it Burn

by PrincessaKyla



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Cas is Hamilton reincarnate, Cas was an asshole, Drinking to Cope, Extramarital Affairs, Hamilton AU, Hamilton Lyrics, Hamilton References, Infidelity, M/M, Political Scandal, Salt, Song fic, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 00:14:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14705495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessaKyla/pseuds/PrincessaKyla
Summary: Dean has been married to Cas for 15 years and been the perfect politician's husband that whole time. Now, in the light of Cas' infidelity, it's time to burn the old love letters serving as a painful reminder of what was.





	Watching it Burn

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by "First Burn", one of the Hamildrops tracks. If you haven't listened yet, you should because ohhhhh my gosh.

Dean took another swig from the bottle of whiskey in his hand as he tossed yet another letter into the fire pit. 15 years he had stood by Cas, the perfect politician’s husband, putting up with fundraisers and campaigning and boring dinners and stuffy suits on hot southern days. 15 years he had given the man, all for what? Now being the laughing stock of the entire nation as Cas’ statement played all over the news, 24/7.

He heard the back door open and close but he didn’t bother looking up. “Don’t come any closer,” Dean said, internally rather terrified of how empty his voice sounded. “I’m drunk and I don’t wanna do something I regret.”

“Dean…”

“I saved every. Single. Letter. You know that? Every single one you wrote me while we were dating. And now….just sitting here rereading them as I burn them.” He cleared his throat and picked up the next one. “June 25th. My beloved Dean, I wish I could express in words just how much I miss you from this tour. I miss having your steady presence next to me, your soft breathing in the bed next to me in the early mornings when I wake up and you haven’t yet. Those are my favorite moments, you know. Being able to watch you sleep, watch the way your eyelashes flutter against your cheekbones and your face eases into peacefulness.” He looked up at Cas and tossed the paper into the fire. “I’m burning them all, Cas.”

Cas looked exhausted and unable to respond.

Dean just shook his head and took another drink. He’d have a killer hangover later but maybe that would distract from how badly his heart hurt.

“Ya know, Sammy called you Icarus. Reminded me that he told me be careful when I fell in love with you.”

“Dean I...If you’d let me explain—“

“Explain  _ what _ Cas?” Dean asked angrily. “Explain why you had an affair, why you decided to bring some pretty young reporter into  _ my _ bed? Why you  _ humiliated me _ by going onto national television to share the story, and tell everyone the...the shit he wrote to you?”

“People were talking, there was risk of an investigation into my policies if I—“

“No there damn well wasn’t and you know it. A few people whispering angry gossip in the shadowy corners of back hallways does not equal an investigation. Hell even if it did that would be better than this! That at least I could explain to the kids as “Some people think your father’s doing something wrong but it’ll be over soon.” This?! Mary asked me if you didn’t love us anymore, and John thought this meant you’d be leaving. Kid was nearly inconsolable. Gabriel just...won’t talk. All the progress we made on him talking gone. Five years lost in five minutes.”

Cas looked away, jaw tightening. “This was the easiest, quickest way to clear my name.”

“And in clearing your name you’ve ruined our lives!” Dean laughed hollowly. “I should have known, after the way you’ve looked at Sammy all these years, shoulda known you’d have an affair. Always surrounded by prettier, younger men for work, charming them and making them laugh. You promised me when you married me that you had eyes only for me. And I trusted you.”

“I’m sorry….”

More hollow laughter. “Sure. Sorry you got caught. You get to explain to the kids exactly what you did when the time comes. You’re so worried about the legacy, Cas. Didn’t ever stop to think those three beautiful children are your legacy did you? Or all the good things you’ve already done? Or the advocating we’ve done?”

“Dean….”

“No. I don’t know who you are anymore. So you’re gonna sleep in your office tonight. And tomorrow I’m….I’m gonna go to Bobby’s. Take the kids, get out of this mess. And I’ll consider not filing for a divorce.” He stood, and brushed past Cas roughly, heading inside. “You’re welcome to watch those burn, by the way. I’ll burn the rest later.” 

As Dean disappeared inside, bottle still in hand, Cas looked at the fire pit and swallowed a harsh lump in his throat.

“Let this be the moment you decide to stay,” he murmured. “That would be enough, even if you never love me again.” Carefully, he crossed the few steps to the chair Dean had been sitting in and settled in to tend the fire as it died out.


End file.
